I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
