I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
