Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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