dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
