My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
