dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
