girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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