If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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