you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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