I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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