Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
