I want to stick my p in your. b.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
