i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize