Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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