i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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