it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
