ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Your mouth is God's brothel.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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