He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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