Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
