Nicole vs. Life
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
