i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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