ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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