it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
