Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm getting married
To pizza
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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