Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize