It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
