I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
