First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
