hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
