if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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