im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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