I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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