I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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