You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I AM VODKA MAN
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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