I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
