yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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