big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize