just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
