I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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