Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
