Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
A+ Viking dick
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
