He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
