apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
