The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
