garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
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