There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
