sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
