My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
