Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
birth control should be required to get into college
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
