"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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