Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
