I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
