Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
