K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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