I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
