the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
